So I met this guy online, we recently spoke over the phone for the first time and have spoken one other time after that. First conversation was. I'm new to online dating so I don't know the etiquette of backing away from right now, but it feels awkward to do that after only one phone call.
What is the weirdest thing about you? Favorite all time movie? If you could retire tomorrow what would you do? Super powers you wish you had? What would you do with your lottery winnings? Are you neat? What is one food you will never give up? Ok now about your looks. Do you have a nickname? Ever had one? If Hollywood made a movie about your life what would it be rated and who would be the star?
Tell me a secret. Do you like the taste of beer? Do you have any tattoos? Do you have any piercings? Do you work out? If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go? Play an instrument? Think back to the best Christmas morning you ever had…. Do you have a stuffed animal that you sleep with?
What are you most proud of? Who is the most important person in your life? If I asked your best friends your 3 best qualities what would they say? Are you closer to your dad or your mom? If you could do anything in the world without fear of failure what would you do? Are you a good friend? Who has had the greatest impact on your life? If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? What is your biggest insecurity? Has a book ever changed your life?
Are you close to your family? If you only had six months to live what would be the top 3 things you would do? Quick future projection Me and you are on a road trip. What kind of car are we in and where are we going? What was your first car? Are you romantic? Tell me about your best friend. Tell me about your family. Nude beach yes or no? Where is the craziest place you have ever had sex? Have you ever kissed a girl? What do you rate yourself as a kisser on a 1 to 10 scale?
Hot make up sex or slow romantic sex? Have you ever watched porn? Do you like it? What turns you on more than anything? What turns you off more than anything? Ever had a one night stand? Ever had a crush on a member of the same sex? Ever have a 3-some? What I mean when I say never ask those Sexual questions: Ok this is really touchy.
Guys love to try to turn a conversation toward a sexual topic or make sexual innuendo. As a general rule, never do this, in any way, ever, til death.
My schedule is pretty tight the next couple of weeks. Can you do an afternoon this week? Even if the date was great and you do want to see the person again, you don't necessarily have to lead it there by spelling it all out.
After all, if the time you spent together was wonderful and leaves you with butterflies, why not share that thought with your date? That means sparks flew and you'll never know if he or she felt the same unless you put it out there. This text also leaves the door open for further post-date conversation.
Point out the positive Shutterstock If saying, "I'm going to have trouble sleeping after such a great date," seems too far out of your comfort zone, fear not. Rachel Needle , a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, recommends saying something along the lines of, "I am still laughing about that story you told me. Plus, you don't have to worry that you're coming on too strong. To ghost or not to ghost Shutterstock As you know, some first dates are just awful.
That said, you shouldn't ever feel obligated to follow up at all. Instead, Blackman recommends simply ending things with a polite "It was nice to meet you" while still on the date. She continued, saying, "If you have decided you don't want to date them again, just say 'good night' and leave it at that!
Maybe you got along, but there was just no romantic connection. In this situation, you may feel bad ghosting your date. If you're legitimately interested in staying in touch, but don't want to go on another date, you can say as much. Blackman recommends texting, "Not sure I felt the dating spark but would be open to hanging out as friends.
Not sure if this would even interest you, but wanted to put it out there. But instead of ruminating, why not send a text? You helped me end a long day on a good note! I'd really like to see you again if you're up for it? Rachel Needle , a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist, provided her suggestion to The List, saying, "Now that we got the awkward first date out of the way, let me know when you want to meet the chill, more real me.
It's also incredibly — but not disarmingly — direct. Don't beat around the bush Shutterstock Even if your first date was just okay, there's a chance you saw a flicker of potential. If so, you may start weighing the pros and cons of going on a second date. Of course, it can be hard to know how your date feels about giving it another go. Melissa Divaris Thompson , New York-based licensed marriage and family therapist, advises sending a a concise five-word text: Instead, this question allows you to play it down the middle.
Strive for being as clear, concise, and honest as feels appropriate. Turn up the flirtation Shutterstock If you and your date really hit it off, don't think you have to wait all the way until your next date to amp up the flirting. If you don't flirt, they might not get the hint that you're interested. It doesn't have to be anything outrageous. The expert advised typing out something like this: In addition to encouraging some flirting on the other end, simple, flirty messages like these show that you're not disinterested in going on a second date.
Obviously, you don't have to use Davis' exact words when it comes time to flirt-text, just be sure to stick to something that is in the same vein. Stroke that ego Shutterstock Everyone loves a compliment here and there, right? Great job with all of those strikes. I am going to practice so next time I actually have a chance to beat you.
So, you know, don't talk about bowling if you didn't actually go bowling. That would be weird. This type of follow-up text is also a great way to build in some friendly — and flirty — competition.
When you give a time when you're going to call, stick to that time--don't leave the other person waiting by the phone.
Avoid calling during the work day, when he might be distracted by other things, and don't call late at night, when he may be in bed. Late afternoon and early evening hours are best, as are weekend calls.
Tone When speaking with a potential romantic interest on the phone, it's important to stay positive. Don't dwell on troublesome things in your life, even if they weigh heavily on your mind.
Instead, talk about things that interest you: When the time comes to hang up, leave on an upbeat note, with a joke or a compliment. Content Always have a specific purpose in mind when calling: It needn't be anything heavy and probably shouldn't be , but a purpose helps you prepare for the conversation and chat more readily with the other person, rather than stumbling into awkward silences or inappropriate topics.
Draw up a little list of topics and stick with them when you talk on the phone. Once the conversation flows more readily, you can probably play it by ear, but that core purpose helps you get over any early obstacles. Messages Sometimes when you call a person, she isn't at home, leaving you to face the dreaded answering machine.
Relax, speak calmly and clearly, and put an optimistic tone in your voice when leaving a message. Stick to business; don't ramble or stumble over your words.