I think that Campus Scouts is a good way to teach girls that they can do anything. The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder I'm A Feminist. I can't tell you the experience of dating a feminist because I am a woman and a feminist myself and here are some of the key things I'd like to.
The questions matter for two reasons. Any day now some cute little girls wearing green sashes and bright smiles will knock on your door and sweetly seek support for their projects, badges, and activities. Do you write the check or not? Forget your craving for Thin Mints. Think rationally! Should you support the Girl Scouts? The latest events top the pile of controversies that has outraged parents and spurred some Scouts to quit the organization.
Are these merely quality control issues — or do the problems reflect an ideological divide between the Girl Scout leadership and the families they serve?
The Girl Scouts consistently respond as if the reported problems are small brush fires that erupt sporadically because people are careless. And they project the impression that these brush fires would die out on their own, but for the hysterical bystanders — conservatives, of course — who shriek at the first wisp of smoke. Offensive materials? Americans tilt right, increasingly so. Their liberal ideology drives everything — from program materials to themes to partnerships — even their view of leadership.
A few examples tell the story. But the GSUSA refuses to allow pro-life advocacy to count towards badge work or program requirements, even within faith-based religious recognition programs.
The list goes on. The new normal: Traditional sexual morality takes a hit, while lesbians enjoy good press in required Girl Scout materials. Offensive illustrations and shocking sexual dialogue complete the picture. For ten-year olds? It gets worse. The book graphically describes women having sex with random warriors at a semi-annual Carnival, undergoing brutal, demeaning genital exams, and breeding out violence by compulsive sterilization and selective prostitution. The only good men are castrated men.
This is Girl Scout utopia? Why would Girl Scout Execs and Board members approve this material? It reflects their worldview — sexual promiscuity is a given and homosexuality is normal. And indeed, key players at the Girl Scouts have a history of advocating those very positions, particularly on homosexuality. In , Higdon welcomed another homosexual activist to his team: HRC pushes same-sex marriage and is an adoption bully , pummeling religious adoption agencies that prefer married heterosexuals to homosexual pairs.
By night, he frolics in unsavory places reminiscent of his homopunk career. Forget character. Think advocacy. I opened this article with two questions. The answer: I doubt it. My answer:
Not in alignment with this view. In fact, Western society has told her and you that this view is outmoded and just plain wrong. She wants you to hear her roar! And you should probably help her instead , even. Or at least this should be some kind of cooperative democratic relationship.
Now, there is a major problem with telling men that they are in charge of relationships, like what the Old Testament does, and that is that most men fail to train themselves up as leaders. Either he gets rigid or he folds. Both are bad. This is just poor leadership. Your role as the man in a relationship is to lead that relationship.
Her role is to assist you on your mission, if not directly then by calming you, making you look good in public, and serving as another set of eyes to help you avoid bad situations and boneheaded mistakes. Those are the overarching roles that make a relationship work. So what do you do if you sleep with a girl you think you might like to date, only to find out she is, in fact, a feminist? Frame Strength Considerations The first and most important thing to consider is frame strength: Hers, yours, and how good you are at sucking people into your way of seeing things.
A woman is supposed to be soft and submissive! Likewise, there are men out there who can take a strong-willed girl with a completely different belief system from their own and suck her into their world and have her totally buy into their belief system and subscribe to it.
Different strokes, different folks. Strong, independent, and head-over-heels girly and in love. Where this is the case, you will want to take special care to avoid girls with feminist leanings.
You will tend to serve as the antidote. Not by directly challenging her beliefs usually , but simply by serving as a living, breathing refutation of feminist ideology. Major Religion or Minor Affiliation? What you will have to determine with any girl with feminist or other conflicting belief system leanings is this: Is she just a lipstick feminist i. You want your own mission? Too bad, hers is the most important mission in the world and she needs to take care of it. Oh, and she needs your help.
Unless she also wants to tell me that me being a bad, bad man excites her very, very much. This is one of the inconvenient truths for feminists: What do you think about feminism? Instead, you want to discuss the subject like this: Once a society is wealthy and safe enough, and women no longer need the support and protection of men, they begin to struggle with those men for increased power within their society.
And then you can frame all your discussions with her about it this way. When she throws around false information, you can just correct her in an unemotional way: Did you know that one in five women on college campuses are raped? Communication means clearly asserting your boundaries, being able to ask for things, and saying things you know other people might not like.
It means understanding when someone is oblivious versus ill-intentioned. It means responding in the moment, instead of reading a text and responding at your leisure, after consulting with friends.
It's hard! It takes a ton of practice. They have stunted communication skills, and they have stunted negotiation and confrontation skills. Helicopter parents make the problem worse by handling conflicts for their kids. Whether they're mediating a conflict between eight-year-olds instead of just letting them figure it out on their own, or confronting a teacher over a late slip or a bad grade, they are producing kids who don't know how to have a difficult discussion.
Now, let's fast forward a few years. Your daughter is at a party. Everyone's doing drugs -- and everyone wants her to do drugs, too. After a lifetime of having mommy and daddy handle all of her stuff for her, is she magically going to be able to "just say no"? Your daughter's crush has offered her a ride home -- but he's been drinking. Is she going to feel confident and capable enough to say, "How about I drive you?
Your daughter has invited a guy friend to sleep over in her dorm room so they can get an early start on their road trip tomorrow. While in bed, he begins kissing her, taking her clothes off, and giving her unwanted oral sex. After muttering, "I think we should just be friends," will she have the communication skills and confidence to say anything more Your daughter has gone back to a man's apartment with him to have sex Is she going to say, "Hey, Cat Person, I changed my mind.
I'm not ready to do this yet. Your daughter has gone on a date with Aziz Ansari. He repeatedly tries to initiate sex with her. Obviously, each of these examples features a man who is behaving badly.
Yes, men shouldn't act that way. But there will always be some who do. I'm all for enthusiastic consent and "teaching men not to rape," but I am also all for women feeling sexual agency. Your daughter has a great idea for a thesis project -- and now she's got to convince a busy professor to be her advisor.
Your daughter has landed a great job offer, and now she needs to negotiate her salary. Your daughter wants to start a blog, and now she has to be willing to promote the hell out of herself to get readership and start making money.
Your daughter has taken her car to the mechanic, and the guy doesn't want to honor her warranty. Obviously, using your words to stand up for yourself in any of these situations is going to be uncomfortable. Obviously, selling something -- your product, your idea, your worth -- is hard.
But it's going to be virtually impossible if you've spent very little time communicating with people and standing up for yourself in other situations.
Is it a huge leap from Girl Scout cookies to academic and professional success to teen suicide, mental illness, sexual assault, and the pay gap? Kind of These are all hugely complex issues, but good communication, sales, and assertiveness lie at the heart of each of them.