Sep 19, · If you’ve ever spent more than a few days on a dating app, you’re likely familiar with the pull to date more than one person at a time. Sure, you went on a great first date with Steve, but a few harmless minutes of late-night swiping led you to match with Cameron, a 6-foot-3 soccer player with bright blue eyes and an adorably crooked anchorrestaurantsupply.com: Leigh Weingus. With an experienced woman, even as an experienced guy yourself, it can sometimes be hard to tell if you'll be able to scale the wall when it comes or not; with an inexperienced woman, you more or less know right away: either you're over the wall, or you're not even getting a date with her.
If you're out and about routinely meeting new women, you'll notice that the women you meet, of course, have a broad range of different personality types and characteristics: Some are bold Some try to take charge clumsily Some take charge deftly and naturally Some will wait for eternity for you to take charge Some seem excited to meet you Some appear indifferent Others are reserved, and you have no idea what they're thinking What this article is centered on is describing the inexperienced women you'll meet - those inexperienced with men, with dating, with sex, and with relationships.
What we'll be examining in this piece is how you can tell them from more experienced women; what the differences are when you're actually with them, interacting with them, setting up dates with them, sleeping with them, and having relationships with them; and what are the main pros and major cons of inexperienced vs. Should be a fun read, and hopefully you'll learn a thing or two you might not have run into, noticed, or been made aware of just yet.
First, if you haven't read them yet, I'd advise you to read these two articles that deal with and attempt to categorize most of the range of female dating and sex experience you'll encounter: Find Out Here The first article, on kinds of girls, discusses the difference between personality profiles strong vs.
The second article, on how women's attitudes towards sex and love change as they become more experienced, discusses the transition from completely idealistic expectations of love come from Disney flicks to insatiably curious gets some experience; starts discovering fun parts of sex and love the movies didn't tell her about to bitter and jaded gets more experienced; realizing that there is no Prince Charming, just sexy assholes who won't commit and unsexy white knights she doesn't want to commit to accepting she's shed fantastic expectations, and has made her peace with how sex and love actually are, and her expectations now match reality and she can be content with dating, sex, and relationships.
That's a brief rundown on what those two articles cover - again, they'll give you some perspective in addition to and complementary of this one, because we'll cover some similar ground here, but primarily will be focused on aspects of meeting and dating inexperienced women we haven't gone over yet. Personality Profiles of Women Returning to our "four kinds of women", you can divide women's base personality profiles into two poles: Vivacious women, and Reserved women Vivacious women are the ones brimming with life, vigor, enthusiasm, and curiosity.
They have indomitable spirits, love challenging themselves, are highly emotionally expressive, and thrill at the unknown and new experiences. They're less emotionally sensitive, but will also not allow others to burden them with too much emotion, either.
Reserved women are the ones who are quiet, unexpressive, and give the appearance of "still waters" at the surface. They are steadier, more focused, unwavering souls, the opposite of vivacious women's changeable nature, and tend to be highly perceptive and extremely detail-oriented. They're more emotionally sensitive, but can also carry a strong emotional burden. Now, you will sometimes meet women in the extremes - women who are exact representations of either of these personality profiles.
Usually though, you're going to meet women who are somewhere between the two, along a spectrum. For instance, the shy excited girl: Compare her to a club queen: A good way of deciding how much of a vivacious or a reserved woman a girl is is by asking this question: Reserved women require emotional validation - they thrive on others' approval.
This can take the form of attention seeking e. They care little for stimulation, and are content to be in peaceful, tranquil environments, so long as they feel sufficiently validated. Vivacious women, at the extreme, care little for validation; if the world approves of them or not, who cares?
What vivacious women crave is stimulation: To feel excited; to feel passionate; to feel alive. So long as their need for stimulation is kept sated, they are happy; but if the stimulation dries up, they become increasingly restless, and grow quite bored. Too much time spent like this will lead to an eruption of emotion, often followed by rebelling against anyone parent, partner they view as trying to trap them in a soulless, stimulation-devoid situation.
Again, these are extremes; every women you meet will have some mix of validation- and stimulation-seeking predispositions. No woman is so free of the need for validation that she could tolerate being insulted and rejected by EVERYone; and, no woman is so free of the need for stimulation that you could stick in her in a 10 foot by 10 foot box and have her be eternally happy so long as her soul mate was right there with her.
But, if you start paying attention to the women around you, and get to know them really well, you will begin to see this pop out at you: The validation-seekers are our reserved women, who just want to feel cared for; and the stimulation-seekers are our vivacious women, who just want to feel enlivened. The Bluntness of Inexperience When it comes to dating, sex, and relationships, inexperienced women are blunt.
They are not smooth , natural, and svelte The smooth, natural, svelte ones are the ones with much experience with men - they've figured out how to push the right buttons with the men in their lives, and know how to make those men feel excited and feel good. I've had inexperienced women ask me for my phone number immediately after opening them. I've had them text me to ask me on dates before I could do so myself.
I've had them ask me if I'd marry them the moment we became lovers. I've had them tell me they loved me the morning after. These things can be really off-putting the first time you experience them, especially if you're not used to inexperienced women. I didn't start meeting many inexperienced women until I'd been picking up for years, once I started branching out more into day game , because I'd mostly been meeting women in bars and clubs before that and finding an inexperienced woman in a nightclub is like finding a vegetarian in a steak house What freaked me out with this originally too was that when you meet crazy girls , they will behave exactly like inexperienced women in many ways, despite the fact that crazy girls are usually the most sexually experienced women you will meet.
They basically appear to be unable to let go of the romantic idealism they had ingrained in them early on in life, however, and unable to ever figure out men. When I first started meeting inexperienced women, I assumed they were all nuts Cynicism and trust. Crazy women have idealized expectations about love and sex, yes, just like inexperienced women; and they will be blunt and straightforward with you about these things too, which can be refreshing and nice, whether it's coming from inexperience or craziness.
Crazy women will often appear candid and trusting at the outset, but rapidly start switching back and forth between this and expressions of cynicism and mistrust. They often respond to being hurt or disappointed not with sadness or disbelief, though, but with vindictive rage: So, our signs of an inexperienced woman are: She's blunt about her interest in you, OR extremely nervous.
If she's a little more on the vivacious side of things, she'll tend to just tell you outright that she's interested. She may even ask you out herself and push things forward herself, just because she likes you and she's curious.
If she's reserved, she'll be out of her element, but you'll be able to tell she likes you because she'll clam up and get very nervous around you - either trembling with excitement or, sometimes, frozen like a popsicle make sure you thaw her out before you try escalating. She's idealistic, OR extremely curious.
Experienced women sometimes pay lip service to romantic idealism "I'm just looking for my Mr. Right" , but you can tell there's no real emotion behind it. And there's little curiosity - most of their curiosity has been sated already.
Now it's just about finding another sex partner, or another long-term dating partner. Inexperienced women, conversely, are either filled with dreamy ideals about what romance and dating and sex is, or else they're bursting at the seams to find out more and learn as much as they can about the topics.
Sex is straightforward. Other times you'll see none, or very little. Regardless of which, it's very straightforward; either she resists, or she doesn't resist I don't have to tell experienced women not to trust me; they don't already.
But inexperienced women, I can tell them until I'm blue in the face that I'm not the kind of guy you give your heart to or put your faith in, but they just can't help doing it anyway.
There's typically not much cynicism about or doubt in you either, so long as her needs for validation or stimulation are being sufficiently met. Only if she starts feeling underserved may she begin to doubt you or pressure you - otherwise, she trusts that you're just going to do everything she needs to be happy, and makes few efforts to direct you otherwise.
She falls in love easily. There are exceptions to this - the only inexperienced girl I was ever able to date for any long period of time was a highly logical, spunky-but-unemotional girl who was more focused on her long-term aspirations than on finding true love, and at no point did she fall head-over-heels for me I also worked to avoid having her do so, but try this with other inexperienced women was only ever prolonging the inevitable. Usually though, for an inexperienced girl, a new partner brings such a rush of unfamiliar feelings, emotions, and brain chemicals that it's like fighting a tsunami; she's helpless to do anything but fall in love.
Crazy women can seem this way too, but again, the lack of total trust is the giveaway; they throw themselves at you, but doubt you and mistrust you at the same time. Experienced and healthy women just don't experience the same levels of "in love" as inexperienced and crazy women, by comparison; their love is a calmer, steadier love when they feel it though they will certainly be excited about it too! She gives you little resistance. Inexperienced women just pitch in a lot more.
Need help cleaning your place? No problem. Want her to bring you dinner? She's more than happy to! Just make sure her needs are met good conversation and great sex , and she'll be thrilled to keep doing whatever you need her to within reason in the relationship. Experienced women are different; because they have experience dating a range of men, they've also had relationships where they received good conversation and great sex in exchange for nothing, so they come in with different expectations: Of course, if they've only had a few longer term relationships, they may soften up as the relationship progresses - because, again, they don't have much experience being in a 2-year relationship, so they're going to be more open to your paradigm whatever it is of what each person's end of the bargain is over the long-term.
Now, let's talk meeting, dating, and pros and cons. I'll break this section down into three subsections: Where to meet inexperienced women when you want to meet them How dating inexperienced women is different from experienced women Pros and cons of dating, sleeping with, and having relationships with inexperienced women Let's start with 1.
Where to Meet Inexperienced Women The first rule of inexperienced women is that the smaller the town she's from, and the less exposure she's had to large, anonymous, liberalized urban metropolises, the more inexperienced with men she will tend to be. That's because small towns are insular environments where everyone knows everyone else, a close eye is kept on everybody's actions, and beliefs about what men and women "should" do hew closely to tradition.
Act out of step, and you'll face all kinds of dire social consequences: No contest. All that changes the moment our small town girl moves to the big city. Instantly, she's thrown into an environment that is anonymous, socially permissive, and free.
Experienced vs. You'll meet women roughly divided along these lines, assuming you're living in a Western city and sticking to meeting women there small towns are different, as are big cities in non-Western nations: The New Arrival: She's still running her "small town" programming, but is going to be pretty impressed by the first charming men she comes across who are good with women - men like that simply do not exist in small town environments it's impossible to rack up enough experience - an average big city playboy puts even the best small town playboy to shame.
The Settled-In Girl: If she was lucky or conservative , she might've met a great guy and ended up in a relationship with one of the first few guys she went on dates with after getting to town could've been Day 1 in the city, or maybe not until a few months after she arrived if she's a slow mover.
She's a bit more experienced, but still pretty inexperienced overall. The Long-Time Resident: If she's a college girl, she might go back home to the country during breaks in the school year, but by Year 4 of university she's more or less a long-time resident.
She's now pretty experienced with men, and falls more on the "experienced" side of the spectrum than the "inexperienced" side of the spectrum.
The girl I've been seeing dated around in high school and college, had some short term and a couple of long term relationships post college, and now she's looking to settle down. This seems pretty typical these days It used to bother me, but now I'm a little bit more open minded. Do these experiences make them better girlfriends and wives in the long run?
I've only had one experience and it was during my college years. My motto isn't to live and learn, but to learn and live. Originally Posted by katykat01 I don't know that you can come up with a general yes or no response because every woman is different. I'm 32 and I've dated around and have a very good idea of what I'm looking for and what I'm willing to tolerate within a man non-negotiables if you will. Basically, if a guy was interested in her, she was interested in him, hoping he'd marry her.
So I think what you really need to consider is how selective the woman is. If she's open to anyone and everyone, then she's probably desperate and will try to please any man who pays attention to her.
She'll probably find that she hates him after awhile and will be a miserable wife. A woman who takes the time to build a solid relationship with a man with common interests and dreams is likely to be a better wife, particularly if she's not selfish and her husband doesn't want to control her. The same can be said for a man.
Hope that helps! The only difference is that you will have done something new. Everything beyond that is value that you put on it. This is why you need to recognize your virginity for what it is: Some people may value it highly; some may find it irrelevant. Rushing to punch your v-card is not going to solve your problem. What I am suggesting is that you want to take things slowly. If you do want to be up front, then pay attention to how you talk about it.
People in general will take their lead from you. Why are you still a virgin? But the underlying message is the same: Advertisement And if they do have a problem with it?
So, TL;DR version: Good luck. NerdLove, Hey, I love your column and never miss one. You give great advice and also excel at just making everything interesting, regardless of subject matter. Since then, things have been great and we both feel this has the potential to be a permanent relationship. The issue we have is entirely an internal one on my end.
She is beautiful, feisty, and treats me better than anyone before her. Voracious, too. What makes me a little uncomfortable at times is the greater number of partners she has had. Yes, of course someone older has had that much more time as a sexually active adult. And there was a period of marriage in there that took her out of the game.
In comparison, my partner seems to have engaged in a lot more casual sex. Going home with guys at bars, hooking up with someone to feel better after a breakup or other unhappy life event, etc. When we talked about how many partners she had during the pre-relationship time we knew each other, she guessed five but only remembered three specific people.
That uncertainty, it bugs me. But at the same time, some dumb part of me is bothered by the disparity, that she is so much more casual about sex than I am. But that ugly voice still whispers in my ear now and then. I want to be the best guy I can be for this fantastic woman, and get my highly anxious mind more relaxed and focused on the present and future.
You have an awesome relationship with an awesome woman. Clinging to this idea that casual sex from her past has anything to do with you and the sex that the two of you are currently having is going to be the poison that ruins things. Some people take sex incredibly seriously and only within specific relationships. Others see sex as no big deal. Some people have lots of love to give and see sex as being a natural expression of that love — for friends as well as romantic partners.
Some people fear sex. Others use sex for validation. Some even use sex as a weapon, either against others or against themselves. And others are only capable of sexual attraction to someone that they have a strong emotional connection to. All of which is a long way of saying: People matter. The connection you have matters. She may have had casual lovers before, but she has chosen you.
It stops the flow but the pressure is just going to build until things explode. Advertisement Part of that is just tackling the why rather than the what.
Numbers are basically bullshit. It may not be through sex but through other ways. It takes conscious effort to tell that voice to sit its two-buck ass down before you decide to make a change. But more than anything else?