Home // Articles // Parenting // Daughters // Dating Rules for My Daughter and Her Boyfriend. Dating Rules for My Daughter and Her Boyfriend. All Pro Dad. Daughters; I escaped it for 17 years of parenthood, but the odds were always stacked against me. I have two beautiful and intelligent daughters, and eventually a boy smart enough to see it. 10 Rules for Dating my Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering, because you're sure not picking anything or anyone up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her while talking, so long as you do not peer below her neck. If you cannot keep your hands off of my daughter's body in public, I will remove them from your arms.
It is entitled 10 rules for dating my daughter. I both laughed and resonated with this list. I then shared it with a few friends who have daughters and they loved it too. And I know my daughter would be better off as well! If you are interested in getting the shirt that these rules was turned into, please go to www. Many readers of this blog have very young daughters and you have not even thought of such things.
However, many of you have older daughters and you are in the middle of this tumultuous time of life. I would like to offer a couple of thoughts in this regard. Decide on your dating rules long before you need them. Decide on your dress code rules long before you need them. Make them known long before you need them. In our case, when Brittany was young, we wanted to instill a modest dressing policy.
We have seen so many young girls dressing as if something was for sale. Dressing as if no one in their life was speaking any wisdom into their lives. When she was young, there was no physical reason to do this. We simply wanted modest clothing choices to already be established as she grew into the age when it would be necessary.
Regarding dating, the boy needed to come over to meet me days before the date. I wanted to meet him, talk to him and intimidate him etc. Actually my goal was not to intimidate him. But, if it happened, that was just a bonus. Did I care? My goal was not to have her happy with me. My goal was her protection. It was my job as her Dad. What are your dating rules?
What is your dress code? Get it in place now. It will pay off later.
I would like to offer a couple of thoughts in this regard. Decide on your dating rules long before you need them. Decide on your dress code rules long before you need them. Make them known long before you need them. In our case, when Brittany was young, we wanted to instill a modest dressing policy. We have seen so many young girls dressing as if something was for sale. Dressing as if no one in their life was speaking any wisdom into their lives.
When she was young, there was no physical reason to do this. We simply wanted modest clothing choices to already be established as she grew into the age when it would be necessary.
Regarding dating, the boy needed to come over to meet me days before the date. I wanted to meet him, talk to him and intimidate him etc. Actually my goal was not to intimidate him. But, if it happened, that was just a bonus. Did I care? Do I probe further now or double back later? Just what role should parents play to steer a child away from the traps in the most popular sport for many teens—the dating game? In our family the focus has not been on dating, but more on training our teens in their character and in how to develop a relationship with the opposite sex.
Our teens do not go out on a date every Friday and Saturday night. Instead, we are encouraging our girls who are still home to focus on the friendship side of their relationships with boys. When a child can date Giving a child the privilege of spending time with a member of the opposite sex is a freedom that is based upon our judgment of how responsible we deem this child to be.
Can we trust her to stick to her standards? Is he strong enough to withstand peer pressure in a boy-girl situation? In light of our reformatted definition of dating, we have the following very general age guidelines for spending time with a friend of the opposite sex these are for our children still living at home. Doing things together with an approved mixed group of teens away from our home: We have allowed this to begin sometime after age Double dates or group dates: Usually at age 17, maybe earlier.
Single dates: These are generally discouraged but allowed in certain circumstances. However, even with these guidelines, three out of four of our teens had their first real date to the school prom in their junior year at age And those first dates were all with friends, not with someone with whom they were romantically involved. Our teenagers would all say that their prom dates were a lot of fun. They spent the whole evening in groups.
Many of the parents were involved with before-dance dinners, chaperoning the dance, and hosting after-dance activities at homes or rented facilities. And it was a good opportunity for them to practice their manners and learn how to behave in formal clothes.
Our guidelines might sound repressive to some. A teenager going on a first date at 17 is certainly not the norm in our culture. But many experts agree that early dating is not a good idea. It is easy to see why there is a movement of parents to replace traditional dating with a formal courtship between a young man and woman.
Whom they should date As a starting point, we believe our teens should develop friendships with and eventually date only other Christians 2 Corinthians 6: Why go out with someone who does not have your values? Also, parents need to evaluate the vitality of the Christian walk of the person who may date one of their children.
Specifically, is this young man or young woman a growing Christian? They believe that if the child says he is a Christian, then he is.
It takes far more maturity than most to year-olds have to see that words and actions need to match. Train your teen to look for outward qualities that indicate inner character, like a good reputation at school, a self-controlled mouth, and wise driving habits, to name just a few.
These external behaviors can be a reflection of good parental training. It takes time to discover those qualities about a person and even more time to see if they are enduring or just a pretense. Teens need to be taught that the ultimate purpose of dating or courting is to find someone to marry.
They need to be very choosy about whom they spend time with in light of that definition. Help them write down the qualities they want to look for in the person they marry. What values really matter? That list then becomes the criteria by which all potential dates are measured. Spiritual and emotional maturity can only come with time.
They can learn so much more about each other by observing behavior in a group, as opposed to getting to know someone in the perfectly preened, best behaved, tension-filled environment of a one-on-one date.
Specific boundaries need to be established. Even group dates can go awry if the group makes a poor choice on their plans. Since it would be difficult to list all the potential problems of a particular proposed date, the best policy is to maintain your right to approve any type of date while your teen is living at home.
And be careful about making assumptions about Christian activities.