And my assignment last week at Lunch Actually is definitely one of those. So the event was called “Matchmaking Masterclass” and Violet. One might wonder how Lunch Actually founder Violet Lim strayed from her childhood ambitions in order to be what she is today - a matchmaker.
We take dating offline, where it belongs. Lisa F. Our process begins with getting to know you. Because, in the end, meeting someone face-to-face is the only way to see if sparks fly. We get to know you. All to help us find you the right match. Our matchmakers are committed to knowing their clients, not just on paper, but on a true human level thanks to our regular interaction and communication with you. We will always respect your confidentiality and only share your first name and never reveal your address, last name, phone number, email address or where you work.
Meet your date face-to-face. Think of us as your dating concierge and leave the details to us. Our goal is to always create an environment that makes getting to know your match as easy and as fun as possible. Call us with feedback after your date. This is an essential part of the IJL matchmaking process. Put your membership on hold if sparks flew.
Contact your matchmaker to let them know you are going to give your new relationship some time to blossom. Of course, not every match is a success. So, no sparks? No problem. After 28 years of helping singles find each other, we know that having someone on your team helping you navigate the complex world of dating is a surefire way to getting you closer to real chemistry. And that the real fun is seeing how things click face-to-face.
Still have questions? Call us at 1. Matchmaking is equal parts art, craft, experience and instinct. Let us be your wingman.
During the first interview, the consultant kept on persuading me to widen my choice of guy's age by at least 10 years older I asked why and the answer was that men likes women who are at least 10 years younger. I wonder why should we be obliged to suit the 'taste' of men?
Wouldn't 10 years be a wide gap? Are the guys looking out to be 'sugar daddy'? The consultant would avert my concern and instead kept reminding me that I would restrict myself if I only looked for a certain age range and religion group. At that time, I thought they would be suggesting the best so as a first timer with dating agency, I agreed to their suggestion but age wise I still would not put it up to 10 years difference! So finally 3 months of waiting, I was given a first match but I was total shocked to be match with someone who was much shorter than me and with very different outlook in life that we held.
Never mind, I gave them a benefit of doubt and they promised to take into my first back seriously and would find a better match next time.
So after months of waiting, finally a second date. The second date was another disappointment again! He would ask inappropriate questions that are not suitable for the 1st date.
His ideas and mine on certain issues were totally different. When I feedback to the consultant about my second date's very different view of points, the consultant again would give loads of 'reasons' as to why he was a right match that was within my criteria.
Here's how it went: After a round of introductions, we were made to participate in a mini game to suss out what we thought our friend sees in an ideal partner. I listed down eight qualities that I thought Miss A would want in her partner.
Then, we narrowed it down to three qualities, which became "needs". This exercise helped to give thought to what people ultimately want from a partner and I felt that it was a good exercise to give more thought into the future. Rather than a general list of wants such as "he or she must be 1. Honesty, job stability and close family ties were the qualities that resonated with the group, which was mostly made up of women.
To me, this was exactly what Miss A wanted. Next, we were presented with a set of nine statements and were asked whether we felt they were "fact or fiction".
Some statements included "the most attractive people get the most dates" and "a high-flying woman will not date a man earning less than her". It was good to hear differing views and what people thought. I felt that it provided a good insight into the dating scene and whether people see beyond physical looks, money and social status. It actually hit me with the realisation that sometimes, we need to give someone else a fair chance and not generalise or stereotype them based on what we think we know.
What really stood out for me and which I find useful in my mission to get Miss A hitched is six tips from Lunch Actually on how to match make my two friends. If you're in the same predicament as me, you will find these tips useful: Be clear of your intentions Do not be beat around the bush if you wish to match your friend with a potential date.
Being upfront and honest with your friend is important. According to Ms Lim, you should also ask for permission from your friend before setting him or her up on a date. After all, you don't wish to ruin your friendship over such a situation. What I intend to do next: Tell Miss A that I have a potential date in mind for her.
Let's hope she's receptive. Match your friends according to similarities, not differences They say opposites attract but in this case, not quite. While opposites might initially draw two people together, this is usually not sustainable in the long run and is only a short term attraction. A couple should have similar shared values and beliefs if they wish to build a future together. I know Miss A, just like a lot of singles, has a lot of 'wants' in her potential partner.
However, as Lunch Actually taught me, I tried to assess and narrow them down in the exercise and pinpoint her 'needs'. From the result, I know Miss A would need her ideal partner to be responsible and trustworthy. Doesn't that make Mr G and her a perfect fit? Take note of patterns of your friend's previous dates Previous dates do not work out for simple and obvious reasons. For your single friend, this might be attributed to a kind of dating pattern they stick to, such as dating the same kind of people every time.
According to Ms Lim, it is important to look out for these "old patterns" as there would not be a point to match your single friend with a potentially wrong match. Miss A likes to date "bad boys" who break her heart almost all the time. This time, I intend to hook her up with Mr G, who is an honest and family-oriented man who I know will sweep her off her feet with his sincerity.