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Rumors abound: Certain street corners in Brooklyn are said to host encounters between hookers and the local Satmar Hasids. And one Manhattan dominatrix will tell you that Orthodox Jews make up a significant portion of her clientele. Of course, Jewish misbehavior is as old as Judaism. Orthodox Jews choose hormones over Halacha with the aid of sites such as Craigslist , the FrumSex mailing list on Yahoo! Groups, and the Israeli-based, Hebrew-language forum Hyde Park. With its long arms and reassuring anonymity, the Internet is threatening to radically alter Orthodox life.
A little online sleuthing reveals that instead of chasing after the non-observant, religious Jews are using the Web to break the Seventh Commandment with each other. Craigslist has a libertarian sensibility, and most of its services are free and anonymous.
Its anything-goes mentality is demonstrated best in its Casual Encounters section, where adults advertise for no-strings-attached sex. This makes it home to some of the most public Orthodox dirty laundry aired online: Are you married? Frustrated with the frum world? I want to know. Confidentiality assured. I also received responses from women: Other Orthodox Jews, looking for camaraderie and a sympathetic ear, flock to FrumSex, a six-year-old Yahoo!
Group that boasts almost members roughly 95 percent of whom are men. In an e-mail to me, Olestra, who describes himself as a married Haredi father in his early thirties, continued: Even when they express a longing for sexual freedom, it usually involves fantasies about the frum girl next door. The reasons for this are complex. To begin with, many still cling to the mores they were raised with, no matter how thoroughly they transgress them.
For example, Orthodox men are forbidden from sleeping with women who have not been ritually cleansed after menstruation; as one Lubavitcher lothario wrote to me, only an observant woman would know to follow such a rule. Other frum Jews also understand the need to keep things on the down low. Thanks to the anonymity afforded by Craigslist, Orthodox Jews can explore stigmatized desires without worrying about being banished by their communities.
For example, gay Orthodox can discreetly hook up. Other Orthodox Jews understand the potential costs of forbidden behavior, the logic goes, and will demonstrate the necessary caution.
For adulterous ultra-Orthodox, fellow believers may be the last, best hope for sexual and emotional fulfillment. Today, because of the internet, they can remain, undetected.
The Ethernet cable snaking into the wall is the serpent in the walled garden that the Orthodox have built for themselves. No wonder that last year, just before Rosh Hashanah, the Lakewood, N. So the headlong collision between traditional sexual mores and the modern free market of online lust presages other revolutions, too. The Internet has become an uncloseable chink in the ghetto wall. The secular temptations of the Enlightenment are being brought ever-closer by the openness and pervasive reach of electronic media, and traditional communities like the ultra-Orthodox are increasingly powerless to stamp out the lurid and heretical impulses in their midst.
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